Here is one such key scripture: Isaiah 49:15
"Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee."
So let's look at this chapter and try to deal with the confusion. It begins with a reversal. In chapter 25 we see the church growing and they are called "the children of God".
Now we have a "rising generation" that doesn't believe, who never join the church and are defined as "carnal and sinful". These people begin to "deceive many with their flattering words".
So these are the children of members and they are choosing to lives in opposition to the values their parents have taught them. They are found "in sin" and are brought to Alma who doesn't know what to do so he sends them to Mosiah who basically says this is a church problem - not a legal matter - he sends them back to Alma.
By this interchange we can imagine the issues. They have not broken the law but by the standards of the church they were in iniquity. Comparing that to our day we can surmise: drunkenness, sexual immorality, swearing, cheating, lying, no attempt to live the gospel. So what should Alma do?
The answer found in this chapter is that any who are repentant belong in the church. Those who won't repent need to be removed.
The most difficult verses for me are verses 27 and 28.
And then I will confess unto them that I never knew them; and they shall depart into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
Therefore I say unto you, that he will not hear my voice, the same shall ye not receive into my church, for him I will not receive at the last day.
This sounds a lot like the old paradigm "Do as I say or else". It's hard to see the loving God in these verses.
Compare this to an understanding of the God who always has His door open, always beckoning and inviting, always hoping His children choose to come home and grieving when they don't. The decision is the child's alone. And anytime this "prodigal" chooses to change his mind, the fatted calf will be ready.
How we understand and view God is going to become the model for our lives. I cannot understand what life must have been like for these Nephites. They had a difficult existence. War was always just around the corner. Survival was always on their minds. Dissension was catastrophic for them. They needed unity so they could survive.

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