3rd Nephi 18:1-11

In this chapter Jesus institutes the sacrament among the Nephites. As I pondered this section, I began thinking about what the sacrament means to me. What do I think about as I partake each week?

Think for a moment about the sacrament prayer. 

• We take the bread and remembrance of the body of Christ.
• We take the water and remembrance of His blood, shed for us.
• We promise to always remember Him.
• We are promised in return that we will have His Spirit to be with us.

The sacrament is not just a remembrance the Savior but it is a renewal of our baptism. In verse 11 the Savior instructs the Nephites to give the sacrament to those who repent and are baptized. It is meant to help us keep in mind the cleansing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ that we experienced at our own baptisms.

We came forth from the waters of baptism clean. We enjoyed for a moment the power of Jesus Christ in our lives. Forgiveness is real. The past can be forgotten. We are born again of water and of the Spirit. 

At least for a while, right? And then we go and sin again.

The way I see it, the Lord isn't trying to teach us that on one day of our life  - the day we are baptized - we are cleansed from sin. He wants us to know that on every day we are cleansed from sin through the Savior Jesus Christ and His Atonement.

And so we take the sacrament to remember what he has done for us. He invites us to feel that same cleansing and that same outpouring of the Spirit that were there at our baptism.

Memories of baptisms faith. This weekly renewal is going to be there for us Sunday after Sunday throughout our lives. It is there to refresh us from a week of cares. It is there to remind us that all we have done wrong that week has been atoned for. We are blessed to get on with our lives as we repent and remember Jesus' body and blood shed for us.  We remember and feel that cleansing once more. We should leave each Sunday filled with joy!

But do we? 

You see, there is another statement in the sacrament prayer-that we will keep his commandments that we may always have His Spirit to be with us. The sacrament is also a time for self-reflection; a time to ask myself "How am I doing?"

The problem for me has been that I get caught in a kind of self-reflection that turns to self-examination that easily turns into self-loathing as week after week I report back with my same litany of sins. Oh, I am trying but my stubbornness, my impatience, my mixed up priorities just get in the way.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry again. I'm still sorry. I didn't keep the commandments so I won't have the Spirit. I'm not good enough to have the Spirit. He won't be able to rescue me.

When I do this I lose the whole meaning of this special opportunity to feel the Savior's love.

I have a choice each Sunday. I can focus on myself or I can look to the Savior. I can beat myself up or let the Savior lift me.

How often I do it wrong. I get caught trying to prepare myself so that I may qualify or be worthy of Jesus love and sacrifice.

Yet Jesus, along with our Heavenly Parents, has always loved me. They loved me before I set foot on this earth. They love me when I choose right and they love me when I choose wrong. Their love is constant and sure. They want me to open my heart to them and feel that love because it will lift me, renew me, and give me the power to live in the light of that love.

I came forth from the waters of baptism long ago. That same water is available each Sabbath day. As I come to the table of the Lord's sacrament, and there remember who it is that giveth me that water, I am filled with His Light. I am cleansed. I am renewed. I can face another week whatever it may bring.

3rd Nephi 17

3rd Nephi 17 is filled with what I would call key words.

Tears 

Compassion 

Healing 

Prayer 

Joy 

Minister 

Everyone

One by One 

This chapter has so much to say about life for life is never simple or easy. It is filled with troubles on every side. The joy mentioned here did not arise in a vacuum. It came as a result of Jesus' ministry. He reached out "one by one" until he had reached "everyone".

He responded to their needs out of his compassion. Prayers and healing resulted from that expression of caring.

We are called to be His hands now - to minister to others in His name. There are countless others of all faiths, and those with no faith at all, who understand this need and devote their time and means to serving others.

I believe it is the most fundamental Christ-like attribute there is. If we truly love the Savior, we show our love by ministering to the needs of others.

One of the more difficult things is to recognize those needs and hear what sometimes is not even being said.

One of the "Sistas in Zion", Zandra Vranes, wrote on her Instagram page:

"If you served your mission in Africa, the Caribbean, an inner city of the US and Canada or around black folks, but don't speak out against the racism they are currently facing, you did not "fall in love with the people." You just took an 18 month or 2 year church vacation."

Do you hear the tears in those words? Can you respond with compassion?

On CNN's online page this morning another Black woman, Lisa Respers France, wrote this in her op-ed:

" . . . It is hard to know you are tired of my and Breonna Taylor's blackness.

Tired of hearing about it, thinking about it and feeling guilty about the disparity that it brings.

Imagine how tired we feel inhabiting these Black bodies. Because we live in a nation where being accused of racism angers people more than the actual racism."

Did you hear the tears? Or did you want to argue the point?

I often go back to a simple statement by Stephen Covey. "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." Compassion seeks to understand. It calls us to get out of our own self and enter the life of another. That is the heart of ministering. 

I recognize my own efforts to minister to others is lacking. I can do better.

Hymn #220: Lord, I Would Follow Thee

Savior, may I learn to love thee,

Walk the path that thou hast shown,

Pause to help and lift another,

Finding strength beyond my own.

Savior, may I learn to love thee—

Lord, I would follow thee.

Who am I to judge another

When I walk imperfectly?

In the quiet heart is hidden

Sorrow that the eye can’t see.

Who am I to judge another?

Lord, I would follow thee.

I would be my brother’s keeper;

I would learn the healer’s art.

To the wounded and the weary

I would show a gentle heart.

I would be my brother’s keeper—

Lord, I would follow thee.

Savior, may I love my brother

As I know thou lovest me,

Find in thee my strength, my beacon,

For thy servant I would be.

Savior, may I love my brother—

Lord, I would follow thee.

********************************************

This beautiful article by Margaret Wheatley talks about the healing power of listening:

Shambhala Sun, December 2001 Margaret Wheatley

You are reading this in December, but I have written this just a few days after September 11th, 2001. I have tried to imagine what the world feels like now, two months later, what else might have happened, what has changed, how each of us feels, if we are more divided or more connected. In the absence of a crystal ball, I look to the things I believe to be true in all times and for most situations. And so I choose to write about one of these enduring truths: great healing is available when we listen to each other.

Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don't have to do anything else. We don't have to advise, or coach, or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen. If we can do that, we create moments in which real healing is available. Whatever life we have experienced, if we can tell our story to someone who listens, we find it easier to deal with our circumstances.

I have seen the healing power of good listening so often that I wonder if you've noticed it also. There may have been a time when a friend was telling you such a painful story that you became speechless. You couldn't think of anything to say, so you just sat there, listening closely, but not saying a word. And what was the result of your heartfelt silence, of your listening?

A young black South African woman taught some of my friends a profound lesson about listening. She was sitting in a circle of women from many nations, and each woman had the chance to tell a story from her life. When her turn came, she began quietly to tell a story of true horror--of how she had found her grandparents slaughtered in their village. Many of the women were Westerners, and in the presence of such pain, they instinctively wanted to do something. They wanted to fix, to make it better, anything to remove the pain of this tragedy from such a young life. The young woman felt their compassion, but also felt them closing in. She put her hands up, as if to push back their desire to help. She said: "I don't need you to fix me. I just need you to listen to me."

She taught many women that day that being listened to is enough. If we can speak our story, and know that others hear it, we are somehow healed by that. During the Truth and Reconciliation Commission hearings in South Africa, many of those who testified to the atrocities they had endured under apartheid would speak of being healed by their own testimony. They knew that many people were listening to their story. One young man who had been blinded when a policeman shot him in the face at close range said: "I feel what has brought my eyesight back is to come here and tell the story. I feel what has been making me sick all the time is the fact that I couldn't tell my story. But now it feels like I've got my sight back by coming here and telling you the story."

Why is being heard so healing? I don't know the full answer to that question, but I do know it has something to do with the fact that listening creates relationship. We know from science that nothing in the universe exists as an isolated or independent entity. Everything takes form from relationships, be it subatomic particles sharing energy or ecosystems sharing food. In the web of life, nothing living lives alone.

Our natural state is to be together. Though we keep moving away from each other, we haven't lost the need to be in relationship. Everybody has a story, and everybody wants to tell their story in order to connect. If no one listens, we tell it to ourselves and then we go mad. In the English language, the word for "health" comes from the same root as the word for "whole". We can't be healthy if we're not in relationship. And "whole" is from the same root word as "holy."

Listening moves us closer, it helps us become more whole, more healthy, more holy. Not listening creates fragmentation, and fragmentation is the root of all suffering. Archbishop Desmond Tutu describes this era as a time of "radical brokenness" in all our relationships. Anywhere we look in the global family we see disconnection and fear of one another. As one example, how many teenagers today, in many lands, state that no one listens to them? They feel ignored and discounted, and in pain they turn to each other to create their own subcultures. I've heard two great teachers, Malidoma SomŽ from Burkino Fasso in West Africa, and Parker Palmer from the United States, both make this comment: "You can tell a culture is in trouble when its elders walk across the street to avoid meeting its youth." It is impossible to create a healthy culture if we refuse to meet, and if we refuse to listen. But if we meet, and when we listen, we reweave the world into wholeness. And holiness.

This is an increasingly noisy era-people shout at each other in print, at work, on TV. I believe the volume is directly related to our need to be listened to. In public places, in the media, we reward the loudest and most outrageous. People are literally clamoring for attention, and they'll do whatever it takes to be noticed. Things will only get louder until we figure out how to sit down and listen. Most of us would welcome things quieting down. We can do our part to begin lowering the volume by our own willingness to listen.

A school teacher told me how one day a sixteen year old became disruptive-shouting angrily, threatening her verbally. She could have called the authorities-there were laws to protect her from such abuse. Instead, she sat down, and asked the student to talk to her. It took some time for him to quiet down, as he was very agitated and kept pacing the room. But finally he walked over to her and began talking about his life. She just listened. No one had listened to him in a long time. Her attentive silence gave him space to see himself, to hear himself. She didn't offer advice. She couldn't figure out his life, and she didn't have to. He could do it himself once she had listened.

I love the biblical passage: "Whenever two or more are gathered, I am there." It describes for me the holiness of moments of real listening. The health, wholeness, holiness of a new relationship forming. I have a T-shirt from one conference that reads: "You can't hate someone whose story you know." You don't have to like the story, or even the person telling you their story. But listening creates a relationship. We move closer to one another.

I would like to encourage us all to play our part in the great healing that needs to occur everywhere. Think about whom you might approach--someone you don't know, don't like, or whose manner of living is a mystery to you. What would it take to begin a conversation with that person? Would you be able to ask them for their opinion or explanation, and then sit quietly to listen to their answer? Could you keep yourself from arguing, or defending, or saying anything for a while? Could you encourage them to just keep telling you their version of things, their side of the story?

It takes courage to begin this type of conversation. But listening, rather than arguing, also is much easier. Once I'd practiced this new role a few times, I found it quite enjoyable. And I got to learn things I never would have known had I interrupted or advised.

I know now that neither I nor the world changes from my well-reasoned, passionately presented arguments. Things change when I've created just the slightest movement toward wholeness, moving closer to another through my patient, willing listening.

Note to editor: I'd like to add the following reference to the end of this article. This column is adapted from Wheatley's new book: Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future, January 2002.

3rd Nephi 17:14

. . . Father, I am troubled because of the wickedness of the people . . .

This one simple phrase is so telling and describes how I feel as I watch the news day after day -- troubled, distressed, anxious, distraught.

I find comfort in just knowing the Savior feels like I do - that He can feel like I do; that He still bears our pains and is willing to be vulnerable for our sakes.

What courage it took to set in place this earth with its plan for our mortal experience! I remember the anxiety over sending a child off to kindergarten but that compares nothing to our Heavenly Parents' decision to send us down to earth. Did they know? Did they have any idea how terrible human beings would act?

I am glad Jesus was troubled. I am grateful we have the account of Heavenly Father weeping for our suffering in Moses chapter 7. I am comforted to know they feel our pain and they care.

In their book The God Who Weeps, Terryl and Fiona Givens write,

"We have already established that God is invested in our lives and happiness because He chooses to be a Father to us. His concern with human sin is with the pain and suffering it produces. Sympathy and sorrow, not anger and vengeance, are the emotions we must look to in order to plumb the nature of the divine response to sin. In the biblical book of Judges, Israel repeatedly forsakes the worship of Jehovah and suffers defeat and oppression at their enemies' hands as a result. Eventually, the Israelites repent and cry unto the Lord for mercy. In reply, he reminds them of their recurrent faithlessness.

It is not the injured pride of a tyrant that we see here but the pain of a suffering Parent. "You have abandoned me," He responds. Then we read, "And he could no longer bear to see Israel suffer." ("His soul was grieved for the misery of Israel" in the King James version.) In the language of scripture, this is God's response to human sin and underlying sorrow, not anger. Sin is pain, and the intensity of His response to sin is commensurate with the intensity of that pain He knows sin will entail, and in which He has already chosen to share. For He is the God who weeps."

I often think we emphasize the physical pain that Jesus felt in the Garden of Gethsemane and upon the cross at Golgotha.  I hear people say that when they sin, they are adding to the Savior's pain.  I feel I am being told to shape up because every wrongful act is causing Jesus unnecessary pain.  But what I see here is a different kind of pain - the inevitable pain of vulnerability - of choosing to love and be involved in another's life.  I have seen humans suffer that kind of pain as I watched parents sit at the bedside of a child writhing in pain. I saw it in the inconsolable grief of parents losing a son to cancer. I saw it when a friend wept with me when she heard of my divorce. 

I don't believe we should feel guilty over Jesus' suffering for our sins. We should feel profound gratitude to know that our Savior cares. We can, with longing, look for that day when He shall wipe away all tears. He knows those tears - He was weeping along with us the whole time.

3rd Nephi 17:4-6

4 But now I go unto the Father, and also to show myself unto the lost tribes of Israel, for they are not lost unto the Father, for he knoweth whither he hath taken them.

5 And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them.

6 And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you.

Jesus had another assignment period he was planning to leave, to go visit another group, "his other, other sheep.". But when he saw the tears, he was moved to compassion and changed his plans.

Compassion is not just sympathy and sorrow for another's misfortune. Compassion moves us to alleviate the suffering. In order to do that, we have to take action and since we usually are not just sitting around doing nothing, it means something else will have to laid aside.

I am a task oriented person. I am doing something all the time. I make lists and set goals and deadlines for myself. I like to be productive, to be learning.

I also like to do acts of service but my acts of service go on our calendar. I schedule them and I plan them. What is difficult for me is to be interrupted, to be asked to drop what I am doing to care for another's needs.

This vignette of the Savior's life as He sees the Nephites in tears, reminds me that compassion takes preference. People's needs take preference.

Can I feel compassion if I'm so absorbed in what I am doing? Do I sometimes feel irritation rather than compassion? What needs to change inside of me so that I might be more like my Savior?

Albert Einstein wrote,

"A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, apart limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, it kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

I like the visual he uses. I am in a prison of my own optical delusion. What keeps me there? Focusing on myself and my personal desires. I believe his description of "widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures"is a perfect description of the character of God. I have no doubt in my mind that God loves all of us equally and will listen to all prayers. 

But I have trouble stopping what I am doing for a call from another. 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said,"We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer."

Suffering is the common lot of all humankind. As we become willing to see that suffering, and are moved by compassion, we fulfill our covenant as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints to bear one another's burdens, to mourn with those that mourn, and to comfort those that stand in need of comfort.  And by fulfilling our covenant we begin to emulate Jesus Christ whose great compassion for all of us took Him to Gethsemane.

3rd Nephi 15:3-9

3 And he said unto them: Marvel not that I said unto you that old things had passed away, and that all things had become anew.

4 Behold, I say unto you that the law is fulfilled that was given unto Moses.

5 Behold, I am he that gave the law, and I am he who covenanted with my people Israel; therefore, the law in me is fulfilled, for I have come to fulfil the law; therefore it hath an end.

6 Behold, I do not destroy the prophets, for as many as have not been fulfilled in me, verily I say unto you, shall all be fulfilled.

7 And because I said unto you that old things have passed away, I do not destroy that which hath been spoken concerning things which are to come.

8 For behold, the covenant which I have made with my people is not all fulfilled; but the law which was given unto Moses hath an end in me.

9 Behold, I am the law, and the light. Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life.

Jesus is here teaching that the law of Moses has been fulfilled. "But the law which was given unto Moses hath an end in me."

We look back at the previous chapters and see that He actually taught that He was going to be introducing a higher law. We see multiple examples in chapter 12"Ye have heard that it has been said by them ____________ But I say unto you________________ ."

His fulfilling of the law of Moses was not an end of expectations. He goes on in chapter 15 verse 10 to say "Behold, I have given unto you the commandments; therefore keep my commandments."

So what does it mean then that the law of Moses was fulfilled.  I think it has everything to do with our hearts.

My mind instantly thought of the words of Micah 6:6-8, 

6  Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the high God? shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old?

7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

8 He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

I think of Hosea proclaiming in chapter 6 verse 6

6 For I desired mercy, and not sacrifice; and the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.

I hear the prophet Joel in Joel 2:13 crying, And rend your heart, and not your garments.

Jesus disliked hypocrisy. "Woe unto you," He says over and over and over.

Matthew 23:23

23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

Matthew 23:28

28 Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

What does all this mean to me? It means I need to look at my life and ask myself if I am only living the outward signs of devotion. Do I appear to be a disciple of Christ but inwardly I am not living as He has asked. Am I a hypocrite? Do I fake the life of a good Christian?

Or am I out of integrity and need to make a course correction? Do justice and mercy guide my actions toward others? Am I walking truly with the lord?

I can honestly say that have tried to follow Jesus my whole life. I do so imperfectly and yet I'm confident that He accepts my imperfect gift. He is everything to me - my mentor, my teacher, my Savior.

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Tune my heart to sing thy grace

I love these words from Elder Holland's October 2007 conference address. "Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christ-like life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that - and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites, we are human."

It is easy to fall back on the outward commandments. We can go through the motions and give the appearance of following Christ. And these higher laws of a broken heart, sacrifice of self, serving others, letting justice and mercy guide our actions, loving all people - these are hard to do. But He doesn't call us to do it alone.  He asks us to walk with Him step by step, imperfectly now, but trusting that as we do so He will lead us home.

3rd Nephi 14

The Savior once again is teaching that He is less concerned about the outward law and more concerned about our hearts and how we treat others.

In chapter 14 verses 1-5 He counsels us not to judge.

In 7 - 11 He reminds us that we can pray for God's help; that God wants to help us. 

In verse 12 He gives us the Golden Rule.

In verses 15-23 He teaches that by their fruits ye shall know them. Goodness creates goodness. 

Then in verses 24-27 He gives us the parable of the wise men and the foolish man.

The wise man builds his house upon the rock. Think back to Helaman 5:12 where Helaman teaches his sons, "It is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God that you must build your foundation."

So if we draw that rock and consider all the Savior's words-what does that rock look like?

I am doing okay outwardly but my heart is troubled these days, filled with worry. I feel the need to place myself firmly on that Rock.  I find I just need more quiet time, time to meditate and ponder and put myself right with my Heavenly Father. I seek the peace that only comes from Him and which gives me the strength to live by my convictions and hopefully do some small bit of good in this world.

3rd Nephi 14:1-5

1 And now it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words he turned again to the multitude, and did open his mouth unto them again, saying: Verily, verily, I say unto you, Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother: Let me pull the mote out of thine eye—and behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

5 Thou hypocrite, first cast the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

Hymn # 273 Truth Reflects Upon Our Senses

Once I said unto another,

“In thine eye there is a mote;

If thou art a friend, a brother,

Hold, and let me pull it out.”

But I could not see it fairly,

For my sight was very dim.

When I came to search more clearly,

In mine eye there was a beam.

Judging others is so natural. We don't even realize we are doing it. We are so egocentric that whoever is different is a threat to our own sense of self. So we are easy to criticize - slow to understand.

One area we are really judgmental is with those who are struggling with faith in our own LDS community.  I was at a luncheon with LDS women I know when the conversation led to how our children are doing. The tears began as stories were shared of children leaving the church.  This is the ultimate pain for an LDS parent.

We tend to harshly judge those who leave. We call them apostates, lost, misguided, led astray. With regard to other faiths, we claim to be the "true" Church which in itself is a statement, right? All others are wrong. We politely say "You have much truth. Come see what we can add to it." But we have to tread lightly lest we offend.

What we are reticent to say is that anyone else's choices or their spiritual home is legitimate.

Long ago I had decided to leave my childhood faith and join the LDS church. I am not happy that some of my children have stopped going to the LDS church but I give them the same respect my parents gave me when I made my choice.

A daughter sent me a link to a podcast this week. It is truly the best thing I've heard from any LDS person about spiritual growth and honoring others' paths. The speaker talks about learning to legitimize others questions and helping them to be comfortable with "not knowing". 

"It's not in all one side or and all the other side, and that's, again, standing in the middle of the teeter totter. In some ways, I think that's where God wants us to be because it requires us to flex some muscles. And sometimes in our zeal to say "I know, I know, I know" have we pulled ourselves away from the need to exercise faith? And so, to use our testimonies as a bludgeon or as a club for someone else, no wonder people on the other side want to use their lack of testimony as a club to beat back the opposition. And I think if we can find that middle ground where there is truth and error mingled, where there is strength and weakness in each of us, there is light and darkness that we're trying to navigate. I think if we can develop the core strength to stand in the middle of the teeter-totter that's how we'll strike balance and be able to navigate life."

Giving People the Benefit of Their Doubts by Jared Halverson

He later talks about the development of faith and compares it to the pattern of one moving from the Garden of Eden through The Fall to at last the Atonement or reconciliation with God. He calls these the Pillars of Eternity.

GARDEN - simplicity. Here in Eden everything is beautiful and blissful. No weeds. No problems. "Everything about the church is absolutely perfect."

THE FALL - questions with no answers. You see beauty in what others have.  Here people either look back to Eden with nostalgia or bitterness. "I wish I hadn't read that."  "I should have listened shouldn't have listened to that podcast."  Life is complex and there is anger, and bitterness.

ATONEMENT - higher and holier. Here we live by faith. You know more than you used to. You're learning,  you're growing. You have a little more critical thought. You have more openness.

He was asked by the interviewer, "How does one know when they reach the Atonement stage? "You have charity for everyone in the previous stages", was his answer.

"Those in Eden can't stand those east of them and those east of Eden can't stand those in Eden. Once you get to the Garden of Gethsemane you love everyone, no matter where they happen to be."

I have to look at myself and ask where am I in all of this? How does this apply to my feelings about those of other faiths?  How do I feel about young people who ask really difficult questions?  How do I answer them?  Am I stuck in that middle stage where I am just bitter that life isn't as simple as I thought it should be? As a disciple of Jesus for 76 years now shouldn't I be in that last stage, capable of loving all?

And this certainly applies to all other areas of my life. When do I become capable of that kind of love? When do I stop being angry and allow the Lord to transform me? I really would like to be there.

3rd Nephi 13:8 (Matthew 6:8)

Be not ye therefore like unto them for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask him.

I am grateful for my understanding of who God is and my relationship to Him. He is my kind and loving Father in heaven.  He watches over me. I find great comfort in this truth of the Restoration.

Quoting from "The God Who Weeps" by Terryl and Fiona Givens, 

"God's desire, so manifest in the texture of the created order, is to enlarge the sphere of human joy, and we discover the marvelous truth that our joy is His joy. What greater motivation could there be for us to seek out and secure our own, our friends', our families' happiness, then to know it adds to His.  Truly, God has made us His central concern, and as long as humans live - He will share in all our sorrows. But He also shares in all our triumphs and joys. For He has set His heart upon us."

Isn't that beautiful?  I love that last phrase. God has set His heart on me! 

The refrain of a favorite song says it all.

He who knows each Sparrow

He who calmed the sea

He who cleansed the leper

He can comfort me.

He feels my suffering.

He knows my needs.

He who knows each sparrow,

Knows me.

3rd Nephi 13: 9-13 (Matthew 6: 9-13) The Lord's Prayer

The Lord's prayer is the unifying prayer of all Christendom - but not of the LDS people. Our desire to speak from the heart and to not use "rote" prayers prevents us from reciting these beautiful words. It really is a great loss. Everyone should have these words written on their hearts.

I find myself sleeping poorly these days.  When I can't sleep because I'm filled with anxiety about Covid-19, the state of American politics, the fires in California, the hurricanes in the Gulf Coast; when peace just doesn't come, I call upon two favorite scriptures: the 23rd Psalm and the Lord's Prayer.

The 23rd Psalm confirms my faith in the Savior's constant care. The second, The Lord's prayer, centers me. I find comfort, peace and hope when I say these words. 

I wish I could even tell you what it feels like when I recite the Lord's prayer. The only analogy I can even think of is trying to use words to describe how I feel when I watch a beautiful sunset or the glow of a sunrise on a summer's morn.  There just are no words. . .

3rd Nephi 13: 22-23

The light of the body is the eye; if, therefore, thine eye I be single, the whole body shall be full of light.  But if thine eye be evil, the whole body shall be full of darkness. If, therefore, the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness.

There is something about a person's eyes that makes us see through the facade to the real person. I find myself drawn to my husband's eyes. It is there that I see how the day is going, how he is feeling, his scale of happiness.

We talk of a twinkle in the eye and it does seem that happiness creates that twinkle, a brightness that shines and sends forth light in his eyes when he is filled with joy.

He has another look - a sneaky look when he is teasing or joking - I call it his devilish look, the "evil eye".  I can see it and know what is coming.

But then his eyes are also the first place to tell me he is in pain.  Before the words, I see the pain in his eyes.

It was William Shakespeare who penned the phrase "The eyes are the windows to the soul." Emotional expression around the eye influences how we see and this, in turn show,s others how we think and feel.

David Ludden PhD wrote an article entitled "Your Eyes Really are the Window to Your Soul" (Psychology Today December 31, 2015)

"We can tell a true smile from a face by looking at a person's eyes. The mouth shape of a smile is easy to face-we do it all the time out of politeness. But the eyes are the giveaway. When were truly happy, we not only smile but also crinkle with corners of our eyes in a crow's feet pattern. But when people face a smile they usually forget about their eyes."

The Savior understood how it affects our whole appearance, our countenance. It's as if he was reminding us that some thing cannot be hidden. If we are consumed by darkness our eyes will tell. Just as when we are filled with light, it just shows! 

Vincent Cheok, who labels himself a Zen Buddhist and Jesuit Catholic, writes,  "The duality here (In Matthew 6) is light versus darkness, good eye versus bad eye, the light in your eye versus the darkness in your eye. The lamp of your body is only as good as the light bulb of its eyes. If your eyes can light up, can be spiritually awakened to see the eternal spirit that you are, then you have the spiritual eyes of spiritual wisdom."

Janice Kapp Perry wrote this song, His Image in Your Countenance, back in 1985.  I still sing it.  It reminds me that when I fill myself with the light of Christ, it will show - not just in my eyes but in everything I do.

Have you received his image in your countenance?

Does the Life of Christ shine in your eyes?

 "The soul, fortunately, has an interpreter  -  often an unconscious but still a faithful interpreter - in the eye."

 Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

The tongue may hide the truth but the eyes - never!  

Mikhail Bulgakov

3rd Nephi 12:44-45

But behold I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you. That ye may be the children of your Father who is in heaven; for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and the good.

Thank goodness for the Savior's words right now! How easy it is to get pulled into the negativity of 2020. These words have reminded me who I am-a daughter of God. My focus in life is to become like Him - to love, to bless, to pray for, to do good to all.

I cannot allow myself to be filled with anger and hate. I was shocked that someone stole our Joe Biden and Denise Forrest signs from our front lawn. I immediately was caught and supposing who they were and finding myself labeling a whole group of people as "lawless".

Whoa! I am repenting this morning . I forgot who I am.  Man, this is quite a struggle. I am on a roller coaster of emotions and it's time to get off.

I believe God creates so much more than earths and the creatures who live on them. He creates love and peace and hope. He creates harmony and vision. He wants us to join in this part of creation and calls us to join Him. I create poetry and gardens but I think He is more interested in whether I am learning to create those greater things - the ideals that lift the human spirit, that treat all others with dignity and respect; the creation of laws and policies that are equitable for all his children. If I use my agency to help create Zion, then I am partnering with the Almighty just as must as when I am sharing the Gospel or doing ordinances for the dead because in all these things I am trying to be like Him.

I am grateful for the timing of our scripture reading right now. It is good to be reading the words of Christ and remembering how much I love Him and how much He has influenced my life.

Peace in Christ

Song by McKenna Hixson

There is peace in Christ

When we learn of Him

Feel the love He felt for us

When He bore our sins

Listen to His words

Let them come alive

If we know Him as He is

There is peace in Christ

He gives us hope

When hope is gone

He give us strength

When we can't go on

He give us shelter

In the storms of life

When there's no peace on Earth

There is peace in Christ

There is peace in Christ

When we walk with him

Through the streets of Galilee to Jerusalem

Mend the broken hearts

Dry the tear-filled eyes

When we live the way He lives

There is peace in Christ

He gives us hope

When hope is gone

He give us strength

When we can't go on

He give us shelter

In the storms of life

When there's no peace on Earth

There is peace in Christ

He gives us hope

When hope is gone

He give us strength

When we can't go on

He give us shelter

In the storms of life

When there's no peace on Earth

There is peace in Christ

When there's no peace on Earth

There is peace in Christ

3rd Nephi 12:23-24

23 Therefore, if ye shall come unto me, or shall desire to come unto me, and rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee—24 Go thy way unto thy brother, and first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I will receive you.

There's hardly a word the Savior said that does not apply to some aspect of my life. I used to think that older persons were more perfect - you had a longer time to learn life's lessons. That may be true, but we also have had a longer time to make mistakes.

Here in verses 23 and 24 the Savior speaks directly to the person who wants to follow Him.  This is reminiscent of the Book of Mormon teaching that God cannot save us "in" our sins but wants to save us "from" our sins.

Here Jesus says simply, "You want to follow me? Think first - is there someone you are angry at? Go take care of that relationship, then come to me.'"

That can be no duplicity in the life of Christ's followers. Of course, if such hypocrisy was found it would negate the message of the Savior. Who would listen to us if they question our honor?

But I doubt the Savior was worried about that as much as he was worried about how such duplicity eats away at us and destroys our inner peace.

When he says, "Peace I give to you, my peace I give unto you", he is not bestowing a magical gift that erases all worry and makes us "happy as a lark" beings. The Savior gives us peace by teaching us the principles of peacemaking. We then start - we come unto him - by looking at our lives and reconciling with our brother.

There is a new center at BYU - the Sorensen center for moral and ethical leadership. Quoting the Sorenson family and their vision, they said:

"BYU is a natural home for the study of moral behavior given that it seeks to instill the core teachings of Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, we have seen that at times good people - even members of the church blessed with a BYU education - keep the outward commandments and yet fall far short when it comes to ethical behavior. We hope that this center will encourage students and faculty to reflect deeply on how to make moral, ethical choices and help them gain the tools and mindset needed to make such decisions."

Jesus asks us not to be just "believers of the word" but "doers". Our daily actions, especially as those that affect other persons, must reflect our discipleship.

3rd Nephi 12:3-9, 14-16

I love this part of the Book of Mormon. Starting here in 3rd Nephi chapter 12 we get to read once again the words that we know and love from the New Testament. The Savior has come to teach another group of people.

After having finished yesterday's post and realizing that great desire I have in my heart to be a peacemaker, I was touched as I opened my scriptures and discovered a verse on that page that I had previously highlighted in red. It was about peacemakers - just what I needed.

Chapter 12 of 3rd Nephi is a repeat of the Sermon on the Mount - words that always touch my heart and soul.

Blessed are the poor in spirit who come unto me for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

And again, blessed are all day that mourn, for they shall be comforted.

And blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

And blessed are all they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled with the holy ghost.

And blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

And blessed are all the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

And blessed are all the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.

____________________________________________________________

Verily, verily, I say unto you, I give unto you to be the light of this people. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.

Behold, do men light a candle and put it under a bushel? May, but on a candlestick, and it giveth light to all that are in the house; 

Therefore let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

In the midst of a cacophony of words every day on the news and on the internet, here, in the scriptures with the words of the Savior, I can relax and enjoy a feast that lift my spirits and feeds my soul!

3rd Nephi 11:28-30

. . . And there shall be no disputations among you, as there have hitherto been; neither shall there be disputations among you concerning the points of my doctrine, as there have hitherto been.

For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but it is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.

Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine that such things should be done away with.

Oh man, all I feel is guilt as I read this passage this morning. I went to bed early last evening.  I was emotionally exhausted. I had just watched a newscast about angry residents in St George, Utah protesting the use of masks.  "Safety is not as important as our freedom and liberty." 

"Forcing masks on our children is child abuse."

I watched this newscast and felt tired. I was done for the day. I had had enough. Why did I react like this? I have such high expectations for Utahns. I realize they aren't all LDS but I act as if they are and expect them to live by the ethics and values we are taught at church. None of this is rational. I know that but often our feelings are irrational and I was caught in that trap.

I am already having a hard time accepting that most of my LDS friends are ultra conservative. (Or at least I am discovering that I am NOT ultra conservative.)  I am trying to figure out where I fit in this group. Then this video was like the last straw!

A few hours of sleep has helped and today I am grateful for the online group I recently discovered: Mormon Women for Ethical Government. They are beginning a learning experience for us this week - leading up to the elections. The topic today is voting - corresponding to two of the principles of ethical government. We are examining what candidates have said.

Principle 2a: Political structures and electoral systems should be designed to maximize participation of and provide equitable access to all citizens in a society.

Mosiah 29:32

And now I desire that this inequality should be no more in this land, especially among this my people; but I desire that this land be a land of liberty, and every man may enjoy his rights and privileges alike, so long as the Lord sees fit that we may live and inherit the land, yea, even as long as any of our posterity remains upon the face of the land.

Principle 3b: Citizens have a duty to participate in representative government by casting an informed vote and seeking to engage with elected officials. As circumstances permit, they should consider participating in electoral politics as volunteers, candidates or elected officials.  

D&C 58:27

Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

This particular discussion has some rules to it. If you want to participate you have to give a source for your information and it can't be an op-ed. Good op-eds will reference their sources so we have to go right to the original source.

In addition, the sources must come from from a media bias chart that has a green box on it. The sources inside that box are known for their reliability, for sticking to the facts, and minimizing commentary or opinion.

I'm excited about doing this exercise. I know it will help me as I consider the candidates for the November elections but more than that it is teaching me a process of how to participate intelligently. I don't want to get caught in just the emotional rhetoric that is so confrontational. I want to be able to be a voice of reason, somebody that people are willing to listen to.

I've had this all on my mind and have been preparing myself to be a part of this exercise with MWEG and then this morning I saw this FAcebook post on a friend's page.

She is taking an online course from Boston University, Religion and Conflict Transformation. She posted the following thought:

"Transforming heartbreak into new life is the aim of every religious tradition at its best, as witness this Hasidic tale. A disciple asks the rebbe, “Why does Torah tell us to ‘place these words upon your hearts’? Why does it not tell us to place these holy words in our hearts?” The rebbe answers, “It is because as we are, our hearts are closed, and we cannot place the holy words in our hearts. So we place them on top of our hearts. And there they stay until, one day, the heart breaks and the words fall in.”⁄ The same point is made by the Sufi master Hazrat Inayat Khan: “God breaks the heart again and again and again until it stays open.”      Parker J. Palmer, “The Broken-Open Heart: Living with Faith and Hope in the Tragic Gap,” Weavings: A Discussion of the Christian Spiritual Life 24, no. 2, (March/April 2009) 7-8.

As I read her post and was so touched by the beauty of those words I realized that the call I feel in my heart in the midst of this very critical time in American history is the call to be a peacemaker. MWEG is helping me to learn how to do that. But I think I will explore further options and how I can learn to speak with the kind of beauty that I saw in my friend's post this morning.

3rd Nephi 9

I cannot deal with verses 1 to 12 at all. The Jesus I know and love doesn't reach out and destroy. My way of understanding such scriptures is to ascribe to the author his own interpretation of natural events that took place. I have to let go of these verses. . .

However, verses 13 through 22 are just beautiful. At last the Savior has come. Here is his own testimony of who He is and what He has accomplished

Verse 13 describes the wonderful process: come unto me, repent, be converted, I will heal you.

I love that Jesus talks of healing us. Isaiah was the first to promise us Jesus would be the healer:

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Nephi promised the same in 2nd Nephi 25:13.

Behold they will crucify him; and after he is laid in the sepulcher for the 

space of three days, he shall rise from the dead, with healing in his wings . . .

We see in the four gospels a Jesus who devoted his whole life to healing. We are about to see Him bring that gift to these Nephites.

We long for that experience for ourselves. We know we are wounded. We seek healing. We pray for comfort, peace - sweet peace to help us through the difficult times. We trust this Jesus because we know what He did for the blind, the leper, the woman caught in adultery, the man who was lowered through the roof, for Mary of Magdala.

We have moments of healing now when we pray and fast and find that peace. 

But just think for a moment of the millions whose lives were defined by starvation, by war, by slavery, by the ravages of unbelievable abuse.  Life has been cruel to minorities everywhere. World war II had its holocaust, but so did Rwanda and Sudan and Cambodia and Russia and China with their pogroms and genocides.  And America is not innocent when it comes to these issues. The stories are endless of men's inhumanity. So many die in the midst of life's horrors.

I trust that this Jesus who brought healing in Galilee, whose capacity for suffering with us showed that His great love and compassion extends to all, is there to greet each wounded soul and heal them.

Come, ye disconsolate

Where e'er ye languish

Come to the mercy seat

Fervently kneel.

Here bring your wounded hearts

Here tell your anguish

Earth has no sorrow

That heaven cannot heal.

Thomas Moore 1779-1852

The larger question for me, is how do I join the Savior in bringing healing to others? That 

challenge looms over me daily. It is my duty to figure that out for myself for it is I who has covenanted to "come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;  Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places."

St. Francis of Assisi understood this call, too.  He penned the following:  

3rd Nephi 3-7

16 AD - Giddianhi, leader of the Gadianton robbers, declares war on the Nephites

17 AD - The Nephites leave their homes and gather together to defend themselves

18 AD - The Nephites are gathered together. The Gadianton robbers prepare for battle.

19 AD - Battle ensues - Giddianhi he dies. The Nephite armies return to safety.

20 AD - No battle but also no peace treaty-they are just "waiting"

21 AD - Skirmishes begin as the robbers lay siege on all sides. The leader of the Gadianton robbers is captured and hanged. War ends as those who enter a covenant of peace return home and all others are "punished according to the law."

22-25 AD - Peace

26 AD - The Nephites return to their homes

27-28 AD  -Peace

29 AD - Pride and boasting of their "exceedingly great riches" is now taking place. The people are now ranked by wealth and opportunity.

30 AD - "Great iniquity in all the land" - The chief judge is murdered and the "regulations of the government" are destroyed.

Satan had great power, unto the stirring up of the people to do all manner of iniquity and to the puffing them up with pride, tempting them to seek for power, and authority and riches and the vein things of the world.

Talk about chaotic times! I felt like I was right there with them.  My circumstances may be different but surely our sense of security has been pulled out from under us here in 2020 - just as it was for them.

On a personal level, the answer is to develop inner peace. 3rd Nephi 6:14 talks about the faithful few. "For they were firm, and steadfast and immovable, willing with all diligence to keep the commandments of the Lord.". 

Finding that inner peace is essential during these tumultuous times but at the community level and with government the answers are not so simple. I cannot preach repentance on the street corner nor in the halls of Congress. But I can speak out in favor of ethical government.

I have been grateful to discover the group that calls itself "Mormon Women for Ethical Government".  Their principles of ethical government have helped to finally put a finger on what has been bothering me lately.  I love America but so much of what it happening is just not ethical.  

MWEG’s Principles of Ethical Government are organized 

around three basic concepts:

1. the government’s duty to adhere to the rule of law; 
2. the human and civil rights of all people; and 
3. the civic duties and mutual accountability of people one toward another.

This is not the day and age to allow yourself to ignore politics. Too much is at stake. I am an LDS woman committed to doing my part to speak up for truth and righteousness in a world gone mad.

As a side note my husband and I were talking about how during the course of our lives (having been born in the 1940s and not remembering those years of the war) we were privileged to live with peace and stability throughout our entire lives. We have a problem relating to the Nephite nation and their continual ups and downs cycles. It seems that peace never lasts very long for them. 

Then we asked ourselves are there any places since in the world that would even relate to the Nephites? How could we even ask such a question! 

We were overwhelmed with humility as we realized that so many places in the world go through this all the time.  It is not just in the Middle East but certainly there. Many African nations have struggled with constant inner turmoil and civil war. 

But closer to home, we are coming to understand more fully that our black Americans have been feeling this every time there is another story of a black person killed by the police, shot in the streets, sent to prison for a traffic violation.  There are so many around us whose lives are chaotic all the time - the homeless, the refugees, the poor.  It left us humble as we realized how fortunate we had been over the course of our lives.  

I don't know why some suffer and other shave privilege.  I do know that those of us who have lived with privilege didn't understand.  We got so busy with living that we didn't look out the window to see what was going on with others.  We thought we had created our happy little worlds all by ourselves and never even noticed the myriad of souls around us who paved our way.  We didn't know.   But here in 2020 we are beginning to understand. . .