Think for a moment about the sacrament prayer.
- We take the bread and remembrance of the body of Christ.
- We take the water and remembrance of His blood, shed for us.
- We promise to always remember Him.
- We are promised in return that we will have His Spirit to be with us.
The sacrament is not just a remembrance the Savior but it is a renewal of our baptism. In verse 11 the Savior instructs the Nephites to give the sacrament to those who repent and are baptized. It is meant to help us keep in mind the cleansing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ that we experienced at our own baptisms.
We came forth from the waters of baptism clean. We enjoyed for a moment the power of Jesus Christ in our lives. Forgiveness is real. The past can be forgotten. We are born again of water and of the Spirit.
At least for a while, right? And then we go and sin again.
The way I see it, the Lord isn't trying to teach us that on one day of our life - the day we are baptized - we are cleansed from sin. He wants us to know that on every day we are cleansed from sin through the Savior Jesus Christ and His Atonement.
And so we take the sacrament to remember what he has done for us. He invites us to feel that same cleansing and that same outpouring of the Spirit that were there at our baptism.
Memories of baptisms faith. This weekly renewal is going to be there for us Sunday after Sunday throughout our lives. It is there to refresh us from a week of cares. It is there to remind us that all we have done wrong that week has been atoned for. We are blessed to get on with our lives as we repent and remember Jesus' body and blood shed for us. We remember and feel that cleansing once more. We should leave each Sunday filled with joy!
But do we?
You see, there is another statement in the sacrament prayer-that we will keep his commandments that we may always have His Spirit to be with us. The sacrament is also a time for self-reflection; a time to ask myself "How am I doing?"
The problem for me has been that I get caught in a kind of self-reflection that turns to self-examination that easily turns into self-loathing as week after week I report back with my same litany of sins. Oh, I am trying but my stubbornness, my impatience, my mixed up priorities just get in the way.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry again. I'm still sorry. I didn't keep the commandments so I won't have the Spirit. I'm not good enough to have the Spirit. He won't be able to rescue me.
When I do this I lose the whole meaning of this special opportunity to feel the Savior's love.
I have a choice each Sunday. I can focus on myself or I can look to the Savior. I can beat myself up or let the Savior lift me.
How often I do it wrong. I get caught trying to prepare myself so that I may qualify or be worthy of Jesus love and sacrifice.
Yet Jesus, along with our Heavenly Parents, has always loved me. They loved me before I set foot on this earth. They love me when I choose right and they love me when I choose wrong. Their love is constant and sure. They want me to open my heart to them and feel that love because it will lift me, renew me, and give me the power to live in the light of that love.
I came forth from the waters of baptism long ago. That same water is available each Sabbath day. As I come to the table of the Lord's sacrament, and there remember who it is that giveth me that water, I am filled with His Light. I am cleansed. I am renewed. I can face another week whatever it may bring.
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