When I was young I mistakenly believed that when someone make a mistake, the consequences of that mistake would show them the error of their ways. But life is not that simple.
For many sins, there are just no negative consequences. That is certainly the case with young couples who live together without marrying. There is no immediate and obvious result from that choice and so they live happily together. The same maybe said for those who commit theft - the petty theft of office supplies, cheating on taxes, etc.
But what if you did get caught? What then? Will you be sorry that you cheated or sorry that you got caught? That is the problem that we see in this chapter. The Nephites are no longer living the gospel. Their society is a whole is suffering as a result. "Wickedness did prevail upon the face of the whole land . . ." Mormon 1:15
And now they are at war with the Lamanites and there is "blood and carnage" everywhere. "Thus there began to be a mourning and lamentation in all the land . . . " Mormon 2:11
Their sorrow was real but it was not the sorrow that makes someone look at their life and change. Mormon calls that "sorrow unto repentance". What they are feeling is sorrow for their circumstances alone. Mormon calls it the "sorrow of the damned". The Apostle Paul described it as "the sorrow of the world. . ."
It's a lesson for all of us. There are times in our lives where we find ourselves in misery. At those times it is well to stop and self-examine. Is there something I am doing that is causing my misery? If it is caused by the actions of another, do I need to change my response or my reaction?
Sometimes it is just life treating us unkindly and we just need to grieve. Life can be sad. It can be devastating. Sorrow has the power to change us - to transform us. It can create compassion within us like nothing else can. Compassion literally means to "suffer together".
In the magazine Psychology Today, Larry Culliford (Spiritual Wisdom for Secular Times) wrote an article entitled "Sorrow, a Valuable Emotion."
He writes, "Although nobody wants to feel sad, at a deeper level, facing loss, everyone should want the genuine experience of sadness. Because sorrow is not the endpoint! It is the gateway to healing . . . Feeling bad about it, people often seek to deny, delete or evade emotional pain somehow; but sorrow is a genuine and valuable emotion. Instead of rejecting and feeling bad about it, we are wise, in the face of loss, to embrace it. Then we can start to feel good about it and wait as our tears turn to laughter once again"
But this is sorrow for loss. How does it relate to sorrow for sin?
Sorrow for sin is a loss. It's about the loss of our own integrity. It's about looking yourself in the mirror and not liking the person you see. It's the unbearable pain of knowing that you did this to yourself. It is sorrow that you must allow yourself to feel because it has the power to transform. This sorrow is a welcome friend, a teacher.
We all make mistakes; some small, some big, some horrendous. Heavenly Father knew we would make mistakes when He gave us our agency. He also provided a way for us to overcome those mistakes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the Healer, and Savior. We just have to open to Him. If we close our hearts, hold on to stubborn pride, refuse to admit we erred, we still will suffer consequences as did the Nephites as they witnessed the blood and carnage. The pain will still come but there is no healing. There is only despair.
In the September 2019 New era magazine, an article called "Godly Sorrow" by Dieter F. Uchtdorf compares godly sorrow and worldly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:10). His article is beautiful and reminds us that healing always comes when we turn to the Lord.
Godly sorrow
- Inspires change and hope through the Atonement of Jesus Christ
- Creates conversion
- Causes a change of heart
- Causes us to hate sin and love goodness
- Encourages us to stand up and walk in the light of Christ's love
Worldly sorrow
- Pulls us down
- Extinguishes hope
- Persuades us to give in to further temptation
- Causes self-loathing
- Prevents us from rising up again
- Impedes our growth
"True repentance is about transformation, not torture or torment."
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